Frequency Matching

While working in a clinic with autistic kids, I learned something crucial about healing work. If a child was having a meltdown and I went to them and said “calm down” in a calm therapist voice, it did not work. Usually, this would make the kid even more upset, which would make me upset too. But if I went to the kid and matched them where they were at, something different happened. For example, if they were sitting on the floor yelling “no no no,” then I would sit on the floor and yell “no no no” with them. When I did this, something clicked, and often the child would start to emerge from the stuck place they were in.

This is how I approach so much now–whether it's songwriting, a difficult conversation, or working with a client. I start from the frequency of where we are. I be with that, with my whole self. And then I wait, and things start to shift on their own. I don’t force anything, and it feels like magic.